The Incoming Senior 10 Commandments

A continuation of the letter you received from us! Hopefully you will read it one day in it's entirety.😉

This letter is just us passing on some practical life lessons - not advice from your parents or your teacher, or your counselor, etc. -- just lessons learned from someone who has had children that’s been where you are, who's also been there personally (even though it was long ago) and that wants to see you thrive! 

The Incoming Senior 10 Commandments

1.   Find your joy and rejoice in it! On your first day of high school, Mimi, maybe you take the sports marketing class because all the cute guys are in it or, you try as many school clubs as possible because you've heard they look great on college applications. Except you'd really rather be taking the Public Speaking elective or using your after school time to create art or write music, learn an instrument or start a YouTube channel. Yes, you should consider your goals when it comes to choices about classes and clubs, but you should also consider your interests. The best jobs evolve from your passions, so don't let yours die off -- find ways to take them to the next level. 

 

2.   Be GRATEFUL and PLEASE, THANK YOUR PARENTS! They loved you from changing your diapers to washing your sweaty gym clothes. Next year, you won't have that luxury. They carted you around for 17+ years everywhere you needed or wanted to go, listened and coached you through the nasty drama, cheered for you and sat on freezing bleachers when your team won or loss. They made sure you had food to eat every day and the best clothes to wear. You will miss them next year when you leave home. Make sure you give them lots of hugs and love while you can.  I'm recently reading a book (quick read) called 'It's "Worth" Work', you should read it!  It's on Amazon.

 

3.   FRIENDS…How many of us have them?? ~Whodini (look ‘em up). Weed out the bad, invest in the good! If you haven’t figured out already, people change. If you've found yourself wondering why you're even friends with that jerk of a guy or you only really hang out with her because you've known each other since middle school but have nothing in common anymore... cut your losses. Your time is better spent invested in people whom you might actually want to keep in touch with when you move away. Think of the people whose advice you value most, people who make you better and make you smile -- those are the keepers! Everyone else, well... don't be mean about it, just stop trying to make something work that's not worth your time or effort.

 

4.  Don't worry about what others think! Next year, you will be thrust into a new environment where no matter what happened in the past 12 years of school, you get to be you... a beautiful God-fearing YOU! So you might as well start practicing now. And honestly, WHO CARES what little Miss “WannaBeAnIGModel” from your Advanced Math class thinks about your hair. Do you like it? Awesome. Rock it! OR… Mr. “OooHe’sFine&Cute” says you're not his type? GOOD! Because that means he's not yours either and you'd be wasting your time anyways. Just learn to love your crazy quirks, hobbies and style.. know your WORTH because you were made to be someone's first choice, somebody's inspiration, and somebody's best friend. It doesn't have to be everyone and in fact, you really don't want it to be. So don't worry this year, let loose and BE YOU. 

 

5.   SENIORITIS!! It’s real (ask our son or your siblings) so DON’T check out!  You are extraordinary. That means it doesn't matter if you can check out on your classes, the fact is you shouldn't. It's true that it looks bad on college applications, but beyond that, it looks bad on you. The best preparation for life beyond high school is simply learning to put your best foot forward in any circumstance, even when you don't feel like it or it "doesn't really matter" for your grade. There’s a quote that I use to always say to Treston “The successful person makes a habit of doing what the failing person doesn't like to do.“ ~Thomas Edison

  

6.   Enjoy being a KID!  Yes, I said it, a KID! There's a lot of responsibility ahead in life, but you're in a unique position this year. Take every crazy weird opportunity to spend being silly with your friends. Have a social distanced water balloon drive by, go virtual shopping with your friends on Zoom, mask up and take the DART train to the closest museum or Six Flags - yes even though you have a car! There will be plenty of time to deal with parties and serious relationships and planning for the future. But for now, just enjoy being young and carefree!  

 

7.   Get used to adult'ing.  I realize this seems counter-intuitive compared to my earlier word of encouragement in #6 but there's a balance that needs to exist. You're in a season of life where you can be both, but you should learn now that fun is not synonymous with illegal or irresponsible. You can very easily turn your life upside down when you take "wild" to the extreme. You come from a good family so the likely hood of you going to the extreme is not likely but I didn't want to leave any expectations unspoken!  Learn how to balance work and play. Success may have come easily in the past, but in the future, you should expect to pay your dues to earn grades, friends, and your reputation.

 

8.   RELAX! Remember that part about balance? I didn't say it was easy. But as much as there is to do and decide this year, don't forget to relax a little bit too. Deciding the destiny of your future as an 17 soon to be 18 year old is an understandably intimidating undertaking. The truth is though, you don't have to have it all figured out. Some people (cough, Tia) thought she did, but 3 weeks before graduating high school, guess what? She changed her mind! And maybe you will too.  Shoot, you will go through college, and will still change your mind. It's only a crisis if you let it escalate into one. Learn about your options, do your best along the way, make new friends but stay close to family (your sister and brother), and practice what you love. You'll never have all the answers and the answers you think you do have will probably change so just relax. 

 

9.   Make your own decision for your own future.  Not for your boyfriend (if don't have one GREAT!). Not for your bestie. Not even for your parents! Yes, I said it… not even your parents.  This was so hard for me with Treston and Tia, when what they decided to do did not line up with what I had in mind for them.  However, I had to remind myself that I chose what I wanted for my future so I say listen to your parent's guidance because they’ve been there but also give yourself the chance to start fresh and be your own person without the ties of preconceived expectations. And for goodness sake, TAKE RISKS! Now is the BEST time to broaden your horizons with no strings attached. Take it from these people who seem to sum it up pretty perfectly: 

 

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. ~Steve Jobs

 

A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.  ~John A. Shedd

 

It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default. ~J.K. Rowling

 

There is a time for EVERYTHING ~ Read Ecclesiastes Chapter 3

 

10. Last but not least, leave a POSITIVE legacy. The bottom line is that you will be remembered for something. Years from now, your name will come up in a conversation or someone will point to your picture in the yearbook and say, "Tamia really was _______," What do you want to be filled in the blank? It doesn't even have to be accomplishment-driven, which is what most people believe. Sure there's the superlatives… i.e. best dressed, most talented, most athletic, valedictorian…. But your reputation goes beyond your hobbies and looks. I told Treston and Tia both ”What you do at school/in public is a reflection of your household and how you were raised”. Therefore, that blank can be filled with, "... the nicest or humble girl in our grade" or "willing to try anything" or "always positive and sticking up for someone or something." It could also easily be "...the meanest/messiest person I've ever met" or "the biggest drama queen in our class." Your legacy can be seen through the things you do, but only by the person you are from the inside out. And while you should ultimately refer to #4, when you're being yourself and acting with intention and respect for yourself and others, you'll end up leaving that positive legacy without even knowing it.  

 

So…as you walk through the virtual halls this year😊, remember all the texts and tears shed and look ahead to all the excitement and change to come. Before you know it, you'll be walking in your cap and gown and saying goodbye to this chapter of your life. Remember, you have the power to choose what happens between now and then, so make the best of every situation that unfolds. 

 

With ALL that said, we are wishing you a year of unforgettable memories, God-willed strength, and the courage to take senior life by the horns!

 

We Love you ALWAYS!